“Kieren, why does your webpage looks so boring?”

This is a question I get asked all of the time whenever I go to speak at Conferences, big or small, keynote or ‘session number 57 workgroup B’, which is out by the bike sheds…

And the answer is really simple.

I practice what I preach, so I don’t have anything that could be compromised (I don’t need any), I don’t do any analytics (No Google Analytics, no “Trackers”, no Cookies, nothing).

My webpage is exactly what it is. A static webpage, with no magic, with some content, and my contact details.

Now, you are most likely are thinking I’m about to go on about how everyone else does should follow my lead, but you will be mistaken.


You do you. For most people, this would be too much effort and it would look still look rubbish, and I completely understand that. Businesses can’t make webpages that look like Gopher Sites (for those that don’t know, before the wibbly woberly web, the way you surfed the net was by using ‘gopher’. The link will send you to the Student Run Computing Facilities Gopher service at the University of Cambridge - still up and running!) or something that looks like it belongs to CompuServe or AOL from the 90’s.

However, you should do your best to protect the privacy of your customers to the best of your ability. Only keep what you need.

I know that I would rather be spending my time focusing on my job rather than worrying about if I am going to get a breach on my website that, in the end, just consists of a contacts page, a few pictures, a blog, and some academic articles and news links.

But as a major bonus, it makes my Cookie Policy a really and simple one.

Or a box of Pickled Onion Monster Munch.

Pickled Onion Monster Munch - The best British invention

And never any gluten-free cookies, as they all taste like damp cardboard.

So, there you go. That is why my website is not fancy. And since you read all of this post, you earned it; Go get yourself a real cookie, because there isn’t a web one for you here.